Yellow Monster

I am more than happy to welcome Green Monster to our midst and am even happier that Blue has seen the light regarding Revue Monsters.

You’re a cool dude Blue.

So are you Red – or should that be dudette?

Alas the character in this week’s story was possibly not.

Try and write something yourselves about disgusting food.

Baked Beans

Many years ago there was a young man who disliked baked beans. Well, “disliked” was probably a vast understatement. He felt that they were not fit to be consumed by any living creature on the earth or anywhere else in the known or unknown universe – to put it mildly.

He did however belong to a youth club. They were popular when he was about sixteen years old because the people who ran them did so because they enjoyed it and they didn’t need many weeks of training and a certificate to tell people they were competent, or for that matter, a police check to make certain they were not perverts.

The young mans club organised a weekend in a guest house in Margate. So when Friday evening came he took his small bag of clothes, toothbrush and razor and boarded the coach.

They arrived at about 7:30 pm to find their guest house was more than a mile away from the nearest places of interest, most of which were closed at that time of night. Well it was a long time ago.

The teenagers sorted themselves into rooms, dumped their bags and returned to the dinning room for dinner, where they were told they would have to spend the evening indoors. One or two were a bit unhappy but most of them didn’t seem to mind.

They settled down at the tables and soon a short plump middle aged woman bustled around taking orders for dinner, when she reached the young man she smiled and asked, ‘would you like baked beans on toast?’

‘No thank you,’ he replied politely, what else is there?’

Her smile dissolved into a worried expression, ‘Oh!’ she said, ‘there isn’t anything else I’m afraid.’

He sat very still as his mind raced through various facts and alternatives. He wasn’t allowed out to buy anything. His room was on the first floor so he couldn’t climb out later. There was nothing else to eat, he wondered if he could stomach baked beans. At last he decided to try.

When the meal was placed in front of him he wondered briefly why the woman asked him if he wanted beans on toast when there was no choice.

Watched by his friends he placed a forkful of beans and toast in his mouth and with a great deal of determination begin to chew. He tried desperately not to gag when he tasted the disgusting sauce and felt the unpleasant texture of powdered beans coating his teeth and making his taste buds scream for mercy.

When he swallowed the first mouth full a friend asked if it was all right. He shook his head and replied, ‘No, it’s revolting.’

He ate the rest slowly and in total silence because he was concentrating on not being sick.

Even today, more than forty years later his stomach still churns a little when he remembers the worst meal he ever ate.

Posted: Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 @ 5:15 pm
Categories: Uncategorized.
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